Note: The photo was taken by a Swedish lady at the Guest House of Sarva Seva Sangh, Raj Ghat, Varanasi in 1987/88.
Much is unknowable.
No problem shall be faced
Until the problem is;
I, born to fog, to waste,
Walk through hypothesis,
An individual.
-from Thom Gunn’s “Human Condition”
The change of place, from Muzaffarpur to Patna
was not as easy as it appeared. The
delay in the announcement of the results
and the deadline for the last date of admission in Patna University was
drawing closer, the sudden illness and demise of my grandmother and the flood situation in
Bihar in the late seventies - all contributed to a feeling of unpredictability
and unease in me. I reached Patna by
train via Barauni, tired and dejected, as the steamer services were postponed. I went
to the P.G. Department of English at Darbhanga House and got the form for the
admission and yet the results were to be announced. A friend of mine was already a student in the
Hindi Department and when I expressed my desire to meet the Head of the
Department of English regarding my admission his response was
very practical and unacademic. Greatly
nurtured by the collective unconscious of the caste equations in Bihar he
strongly opposed that proposition of mine.
Ignoring his opposition I went to the residence of the Head of the
Department of English. A magnificent personality was sitting before me who
listened to me intently and reassured me for my admission on the condition that
I must pass the exam with second class honours. And he told me to see him once
the results were announced. After about
a month the results were announced, I got second class and the marks I received
were as I had expected. I came to Patna
again and went to meet the Head of the Department at his residence. A domestic help came out . And I diffidently
announced my arrival. I was not sure
whether our first meeting would be remembered!). The person went in and came
out and ushered me into the room where a
majestic presence reclining on a pillow was reading a book. He told me to sit
down and instructed the domestic help to give me a piece of paper. When the
paper was handed over to me I was asked to write an application stating the
reasons for the delay in applying.
Feeling nervous in his presence, with trembling fingers I wrote the
application and handed it to him. He
picked up a ‘fountain’ pen and wrote on my application, “Delay condoned.” The
person was the one and only of his kind in the world of academia, one of the
greatest teachers, Professor R. K. Sinha! I was overwhelmed by his reassuring personality: his strong memory, his quiet
understanding and his courtesy and kindness to an unknown student!
Destiny
we may call it!
What
a coincidence it was that I came from nowhere to pay him my respects when he
was being cremated at Gulbi Ghat on the banks of Ganga! For a long time I kept a copy of that
application on which he had written and whenever I recall that incident I
always go back to those periods of time for reassurance and comfort!
That was Patna where I was sent by late
Professor Kamta Charan Shrivastava (KCS), a great classroom teacher, an introvert
and a great scholar and a perfect gentleman. I was fortunate to have him as my
first Guru! Late Professor Dev Nath Sahay, the former Principal of
Gopeshwar College Hathwa sent me to meet KCS, his cousin, with a letter of
introduction in which he addressed me as his son. KCS asked me to buy some books on the basics
of English Literature and he sent me to ‘Madhav Stores’ to buy books which he strongly
recommended. Even to this day I have preserved
those books, the very fundamental readings for an English Honours student to
get the knowledge about the fundamentals of English literature. Later, when I was a P.G. student at Patna I
opted for Linguistics Group-B papers as my special subject and again he guided
me by suggesting names of books on Linguistics and as a result I scored very
high grades in Linguistics. At Patna, I
was introduced by Madhukar Bhaiya (Late
Devanand Madhukar ) to Professor Kameshwar Prasad, Professor Mrs. Suman Prabha
Prasad and Professsor Shaileshwar Sati Prasad.
My long association with these brilliant professors has been a seminal
influence on my career. I will come to
it sometime later!
Meet me with the correct answer !
Here I would like to recall an incident
which taught me to understand the ‘nuances’ of reading . At Muzaffarpur I lived in ‘New Hostel’. Ajay Kumar Anand was one of my closest
friends. One evening while returning
from Moti Jheel, Ajayji ran into a young
professor of Political Science and introduced me to him. The professor asked me a question, “Who was
the father of Romanticism?” Without thinking I answered, “William
Wordsworth!” The young professor smiled
and said, “Young man, you have just come to the College, study well and then see
me, after two days, in my office. But please come with the correct answer!” I got scared and more than that embarrassed. I
went to the hostel and consulted books and found the answer. The young professor by asking one question
taught me how to read well! With Ajayji I went to his office and gave him the
correct answer, “Jean Jacques Rousseau!” And he smiled again and told me to
read for information and to read with ‘discrimination.’ During the summer
vacation when I went to Hathwa I carried my box full of books and planned to
read them there. Before I left I went to see KCS and he asked me about my plans
during the long vacation. Enthusiastically I told him about my plan to read a
lot. He advised me to read less and
think and analyse more. I always remember KCS and that young professor who changed my reading habits and
that was further strengthened and developed by the professors I was introduced
to by Madhukar Bhaiya at Patna.
Met the Mentors!
Madhukar Bhaiya introduced me to Professor
Kameshwar Prasad and Professor Shaileshwar Sati Prasad. Later I came to know
that Professor Kameshwar Prasad was the son of Professor Sitaram Prasad and the
latter was the son of Shri Shiv Sati Prasad alias Mahadev Babu. Both of them were illustrious personalities
in their own respective fields and were known to my father. Madhukar Bhaiy and Prof Sitaram Prasad got the first rank in Bihar School Examination
Board from Eden School, Hathwa. Professor Sitaram Prasad retired as the
Registrar of Patna University. Like his
son Professor Kameshwar Prasad he was a rare gem. One can feel this by reading
his reminiscence about Professor D. P. Vidyarthy ( “In Memory of late Dr. D. P.
Vidyarthy “ by Prof. Sitaram Prasad http://drvidyarthy.hypermart.net/obit1.htm). Shri Shiva Sati Prasad was one of the famous lawyers of Bihar. I was fortunate
to be in association with not only these
two brilliant professors of Patna University but also the daughter-in-law of
Professor Sitaram Prasad, and the daughter of Dr. Alakh Narayan Dhar, Professor
Suman Prabha Prasad who later was my Ph.D. supervisor as I registered myself in
Patna University as a Ph.D. student from the first batch of English Literature
students of the UGC NET 1985 Exams.
As a research student I was given teaching
assignments in Magadh Mahila College as my supervisor was working there. I taught Lawrence’s stories in B.A. (Honours)
and John Osborne’s Look Back in Anger in M.A. classes. Both Professor Kameshwar Prasad and Professor
Suman Prabha Prasad obtained their Ph.D. degrees from U.K. (Leicester
University) under Professor R.P. Draper and Professor G.S. Fraser
respectively. I benefited from their knowledge
and the teaching styles in the beginning of my teaching career, though I did
not know that it was the beginning of and the preparation for my teaching
career, as I was preparing for the Civil Services Exams. Both were formidable scholars of Lawrence in
particular and Modern Literature in general.
They were very popular and well-respected teachers with who a student
could easily have discussions and disagreements. I remember with pride that they did not want
the students to parrot what great critics have said but to come out with their
own interpretations.
The passion for reading I inherited from my
grandfather and father and was later strengthened by Professor Shaileshwar Sati
Prasad (who I call Shailoo Bhaiya!). He
is an avid reader with a fine sense of critical judgement! I remember when Jyotsana published her first
novel Argala in Hindi, we went o him and gave him a copy. We had come
from Yemen and we were staying at our Bahadurpur flat. The next morning he came to our flat after morning walk
and congratulated her. He had read the entire novel at night! He liked the
storyline and crucially discussed the novel with Jyotsana. In his company I had the opportunity to read African
Writers and some of the seminal post-colonial texts. Whenever he was to write he would call me. He
would start pacing to and fro in the room and dictating his streaming thoughts
to me. I learnt from him many things of research writing during that period. He always told me do not go to a class
unprepared and do not underestimate your students. His rapport with students has been unique.
They love and admire him immensely. His training as a linguist and as a
post-colonial scholar from the Universities of U. K. along with his inherent lively
‘Tirhutia’ (as he refers to it jokingly) spirit have shaped up his versatile
personality.
A Period of Pause and Perseverance!
After my PG results were published I was
inexplicably happy as I secured fourth position in the first class in the
University. My grandfather and my father were happy too. But my happiness
slowly dissipated into a sense of boredom and depression. One of the reasons was the aimlessness of the
middle-class students imposed upon them by the environment and the job
situation in Bihar. Preparing for each
and every exam for jobs, no single-minded devotion to a single vocation! The aim with which Professor Dev Nath
Sahay and Professor Syed Ahmad insisted on my taking admission to English
Literature as Honours subject was defeated with the change of UPSC syllabi. I
used to qualify prelims with Geography as English Literature was not a subject
to be opted. I did not appear for my for
my M.A. Exams with my original batch and I did it for next year. The vacancies
for lectureship were advertised in 1980 and I missed them as I graduated in
1981! Then there was a lull for about a decade.
Though I have no grievance yet I feel that
very few lecturers in India are appointed on the basis of their merit. I attended the interviews of the universities
in Bihar, Orissa, Assam, Tripura, Delhi, UP, West Bengal and some reputed
universities like Delhi, Vishwa Bharati and Banaras twice and found that there was always a someone already assured for appointment! My
sense of euphoria as a UGC JRF
(NET) frittered away as the time passed.
My odyssey as a research scholar to find a job in my country was
interminably long. My parents did not say anything; my grandfather was the one
whose watchword was very inspiring, “Keep trying, finally you will get it.”
I spent my time reading Chinua Achebe,
Buchi Emecheta, Ishiguro, Soyinka, Ben Okri and many others and listening to
classical music and reading about the great musicians of India. My interest in
classical music turned into a great respect for Baba Allauddin and Ma Annapurna
Devi during this period. In the morning
I used to Gandhi Ghat and attend a free Yoga Class and the rest of the day was
spent in looking for job advertisements applying for them
and waiting for interview! I crossed the upper age limit of the Civil Services exams,
and took BPSC exams, qualified for it twice but my name did not
appear in the list of successful candidates.
Suddenly I got an appointment letter to work in Yemen as an assistant
professor. Though I worked there for about 17 and half years but in 1991
immediately after my arrival there, when I received an interview letter from
BPSC again, there was an immense pressure from my father and well-wishers to
come all the way and attend the interview. I came and faced the interview but it was of
no avail. I went to Yemen; my destiny
was not my destination. Over the years I
have been trying to find out an answer to my own personal, very personal yet an
eternal question for me: what was there beyond, what was there beyond the
society and the academic milieu in which I was nurtured, to sustain me all
these years?
At worse, one is in motion; and at best,
Reaching no absolute, in which to rest,
One is always nearer by not keeping still.
- from
Thom Gunn’s “On The Move 'Man, You Gotta
Go.'”
(to be
continued)
